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Public Humiliation:
The Fine Line Between Getting Off and Getting Arrested

by Miz Ava of Phone Humiliation

 

Safe, sane and consensual. These three concepts are constantly repeated in the world of BDSM. It all sounds reasonable and lovely in theory, but in the public humiliation arena, these practices take precedence above all else. In this erotic humiliation fetish exploration, we will discuss each of these three tenets, why they matter and how to apply them to your favorite public humiliation scenes so as to avoid serious repercussions.

Private Vs. Public Humiliation

"I was naked, bound to the chair, blindfolded and gagged in my Mistresses dungeon," says Irish Eyez, a 38 year old male who recently corresponded with me on the topic of humiliation play. "She was applying different devices to my genitals, all the while reminding me what a pain slut I am. I was extremely turned on, hearing her words in my ear but at the same time disoriented and enveloped in the darkness. I couldn't see anything, which probably made my other senses more keen. About half way through our session, I thought I heard the murmur of other voices, but I couldn't be sure.

I felt my Mistresses hands on my skin, her nails raking across my chest and then I was almost certain I felt another set of hands on my body...touching, poking, grabbing. I was confused and yet increasingly aroused. I heard my Mistress chuckle and then I knew I heard the sound of a voice that did *not* belong to my Mistress. When the blindfold came off, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust. And then I saw what my Mistress had subjected me to. There in the room with her, were three other women, fem domme friends of Mistress. They had been involved in this scene from the moment after I was blindfolded. I was mortified at the thought of being exposed to these strange women like that. And the more mortified I felt, the harder my cock throbbed...."

Consent is Key In Public Humiliation Play

Public humiliation scenes take on a variety of contexts. It is important to point out that while Irish Eyez was unaware in advance that his Mistress had invited friends over to witness his humiliation session, this was a play scene Irish Eyez had previously expressed interest in participating in. Public play was definitely not a hard limit for him and his play partner knew this. This is where the consensual piece in public humiliation scenes and fantasies is extremely crucial. It is not merely enough, however, for the scene players to have consented to a form of public humiliation. This is particularly important in situations where the "humiliatee" will be taken outside of a designated play place, party or dungeon. In other words, any time a person is going to execute a humiliating act in an otherwise vanilla environment, it is very necessary to keep in mind that casual observers have *not* provided consent to your erotic game.

You cannot undermine the potential harm that could be caused in disrupting "regular" folks' routines. Agitated people who feel threatened in some way can do some pretty nasty things and you might be putting yourself in harm's way. There is no fun involved in spending the night in jail or in the emergency room after being lynched by onlookers who are offended by your public escapades. Please do not be careless or inconsiderate in your kinky public humiliation scenarios. It's much better to engage in these kinds of acts in a controlled environment or with the agreed-upon consent of non-kinky persons arranged ahead of time.

Safety ABC's: Always Be Careful

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, consent in public humiliation scenarios can be a murky area, especially in relationship to outside influences that may inadvertently be brought into the equation. When one is putting him or herself "out there" in a very vulnerable way, the risk is always a great one. The paradox is this very risk sometimes is the thing that makes public humiliation so erotic. Making oneself vulnerable and open to a variety of reactions is part of the allure in engaging in an act of public humiliation. Still, it cannot be emphasized enough: your safety in these scenes must be number one priority. For example, if you are a male who is instructed to go to a shopping mall dressed en femme, it is a good idea to bring along a trusted friend or have your play partner accompany you. Unless you are completely passable as a female, it's a sure bet that some of the other shoppers are going to react in a less than welcoming way when they become aware of your circumstances. Having a friend at your side to pay attention to cues from onlookers can prevent an ugly scenario from developing. Also, this friend can intervene and explain to other folks that "He just lost a bet, and has to go out dressed as a woman as a result", or something along those lines to reduce the possibility of seriously offending those who might have a hard time observing this feminization situation. Do not argue with anyone who expresses disdain for what you are doing; attempting to explain your kink in such a context will only create more tension. These are extreme examples, but when approaching public humiliation from a safety perspective, you need to consider and be prepared to react appropriately in worst case scenarios.

Common Sense In An Uncommon Situation

In fantasies, we can certainly imagine over-the-top humiliation scenes that we would never do in our regular lives. There is a reason why some things are better left to the realm of the imagination. You can control a public humiliation situation in your mind; once you move into enacting the scene in public, anything is possible. Again, the sense of the "unknown" is a draw for those players in erotic humiliation games, and the loss of control is a huge rush. But the rush is never worth it if the exploitation shifts from something of an erotic nature to one where harm to you becomes the center piece. Any play partner who tells you that you are not *really* submissive if you won't go through with an act of humiliation no matter how much of a danger it poses to you is a partner you should avoid at all costs. Submission to another person should be about exploration and growth through pushing past some boundaries, but not to the extent where you are risking physical or psychological damage. Follow your instincts and don't be foolish. Smart submission is sexy submission.

 

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