Toll Free Number: 800-730-3410
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Looky there, loser! You get to see a picture of Me! You are even lucky enough to be able to pick up the phone and call Me! Once you have Me on the phone, though, know this: I think you are a lame and pathetic excuse for a man, and will certainly not refer to you as an actual man. You are a worm, a sad lowly male with the only actual proof of that being your DNA. I certainly wouldn't be able to tell your gender by looking between your legs, as there is nothing more there than an over sized clitoris! You do know when we hang up, I will be calling my girlfriends and updating them on the latest act of stupidity you have engaged in. One of My favorites things for you to do is when you are on your knees at My feet and I allow you to . . . well, I'll save that bit of fun for later . . .
You do understand that the possibility that you may amuse me is why I pick up the telephone, correct? For you to make me smile, or perhaps even laugh, you must speak clearly and enunciate well, not like you did last time, when you sounded like you had a mouth full of cock.
As far as activities in which you may engage to amuse Me? I'm sure I can think up something that you can do to prove your loyalty and subjugation to Me. Is that too big a word for your little pea brain? I've seen cockroaches that are smarter than you! I do hope that you can be taught tricks, though, like other animals . . . the cockroaches, the piggys . . . At least you will learn to obey, and stay in your place, at My feet - because if you do not obey, you will be crushed under My heel!